The question I must be asked more than any other is how to meet Spirit Guides - well the honest truth is I don't know how to help other people connect with their guides but maybe if I tell my story it can give you hope that one day you will meet with yours.......

I have always kept a diary since I was a little kid because its the way I vent all my emotions and work things out. Anyway, in 1988 shortly after the birth of my youngest son occasionally when I read back what I had written that day right there in the middle of it would be the word 'Jack' or 'Jackie'. At first this rather disconcerted me because I knew I wasn't writing the word. And besides the word always made the sentence look stupid so why would I write it.

Eventually it dawned on me that it must be psychic phenomena - I knew about being psychic after all I'd been called a witch all my life because I'd always known stuff that I really shouldn't. So I reasoned it was psychic phenomena and one of my mates from school was thinking about me or trying to get in touch with me. I had two best mates at school, both named Jackie so this seemed perfectly reasonable to me. I set about trying to find them but no joy so for the next 22 years I just accepted the appearances of the word 'Jack' or 'Jackie' in my diary. Well there was nothing I could do so the only thing I could do was shrug my shoulders and accept it.

Eventually I discovered what a medium was. This surprised me no end I can tell you because I was under the impression that everyone on earth could speak to their dead relatives. It never once occurred to me that I was different to anyone else - in fact I never believed that I was passing on messages when I did go to development classes. As far as I was concerned they were humouring me and I was the worst medium on earth (I still think I am). And as for having a spirit guide - well why would I have one? What possible interest could a spirit guide have in plain old me!

Anyway, one day in 2001 I had the most horrific headache and decided I was going to lay on the sofa. I surrounded myself in white light to try to help the headache (I hate taking tablets). After a while I noticed that the white light had turned golden. That's odd I thought - I didn't do that. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw movement, turned towards it to find a gentleman who I can only describe as a cross between Gandalf and Merlin coming towards me from the left hand side.

He walked up to me and grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet and said 'It's about time' and dragged me into a room. All through this I was giggling so much it didn't occur to me to ask who he was. He looked so flipping ridiculous - I mean Merlin for heavens sake! So anyway, in the middle of the room was this lectern with a giant book on it. 'Merlin' opened it and pulled me to the side of him and said 'We best start at the beginning'. But by now I was in fits of giggles and just couldn't hold up for laughing. He put his elbows on the lecturn, his head in his hands, shook his head and said 'Oh this is going to be harder than I thought'.

I hadn't the faintest idea who he was or what he was talking about and I didn't care because by now I had tears streaming down my face with laughter. He DID look totally ridiculous, his hat was flopping all over the place and his beard moved every time he spoke or moved and he was so skinny his robe swamped him making him look like he'd borrowed it.

Anyway I must have laughed so hard I bought myself around still laughing. . I sat on the floor for a good half hour laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face and my stomach was hurting, but eventually I told my partner what had happened. He said maybe I had been asleep and dreamed it. OK yes it was a possibility but somehow I didn't think so. Eventually I put it down to the headache.

The following morning I woke very slowly and could feel the sun coming in the window and just didn't want to move. Eventually I opened my eyes and guess who was stood there right in my bedroom!! Flipping Merlin !! And it wasn't just me who saw him - my partner did too. He said 'Isn't it about time you got to work' and just disappeared.

After the initial shock we sat and talked about it and came to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe he was a guide. All I could think was ooooo noooooo please nooooooo not Merlin as a guide. I would never live that one down if I opened my mouth and told someone. They would all think I was totally nuts or attention seeking. The idea was totally mortifying.

Anyway months passed and he came and went - I always knew when he was around because I would suddenly start giggling for no reason whatsoever. But he would never tell me who he was - he said I knew already. About 4 months after the first meeting I was writing my diary and when I read back over it, right there in great big letters over the rest of the writing was the word 'Jackie'. It finally dawned on me that 'Merlin' and 'Jackie' were one and the same person. It had taken him over 20 years to get through to me !!

Well I know this story was a little long but I thought you'd like to hear it and maybe it will give you the hope that you will indeed meet your spirit guide one day.

PS. Up to now I have never admitted that 'Jack' looks like Merlin !!