I'm a new member to this site, and I'm enjoying reading the articles. I didn't come here to ask for anything, but now I feel compelled to ask for guidance. I just know that someone out there has something significant to say to me.

I'm at the biggest crossroads of my life and I'm very uncertain which way to turn. I've been in a very controlling and financially abusive relationship (yes, I should know better - but hey, we all get it wrong), and I now have the biggest pile of debt you can imagine, all in my name, accrued whilst trying to help this person who is addicted to gambling. I now know that I can't help him, only he can do that, but he's not ready. So, it's time to move forward with my life and get away.

Not that easy though, I have 3 children, 1 at university (don't qualify for any assistance) and 1 at full-time nursery (don't qualify for any assistance) and I'm working my ass off, paid more in my life than I've ever earned but poorer than I've ever been. Living alone means I just can't earn enough to service the debts. I've lost my home, all my jewellery has been sold along with anything of any value. My credit rating is so crap that no one in their right minds would lend me money -and I couldn't afford anymore debt anyway.

I recently met someone, an older man, in a very peculiar way - like it was meant to be. He wants to help me and is offering a way out. Trouble is - I don't trust anyone anymore, and I'm just not sure. Am I just swapping one form of control for another - or is he a genuine friend?

Self preservation is getting in the way of my intuition, and I just don't know which way to turn. Does anyone have any hunches on this?

Charlotte